Three Down, One to Go

As junior year draws to a close, I reflect on my past three years at SMU and look forward to one more

Where has the time gone?!  Really – I have no idea.  I feel like it was just yesterday I arrived in Texas, ready to start my new life as a college student, and then BAM!  I blinked and now I’m suddenly twenty-one and about to spend the summer interning in NYC before starting my senior year of college.  It’s bittersweet — I’m simultaneously ready to go into the world and start ‘real life,’ but not yet ready to prepare for a year of ‘lasts.’  I guess it’s so hard to think about leaving after next year because I’ve so loved the time I’ve spent here.  I’ve made amazing friends and memories, and have started to figure out what I want in life — started being the key word.

I had this illusion in high school that as soon as I got to college everything would just magically fall into place and make sense.  I assumed that as soon as I set foot on campus, I’d instantly know what I’d want to major in, where I wanted to live after graduation, and what I’d want to do with the rest of my life.  What the past three years have taught me, though, is that this is clearly not the case.  In fact, I think college has confused me even more than when I first arrived here as a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed eighteen-year-old.

I’ve added and dropped and switched majors so many times I’ve lost count.  I’ve triumphantly declared that I know how I want to spend the rest of my life, only a week later to change my mind.  I’ve meticulously planned and plotted out the future and then witnessed first-hand how easily these plans change.  Through all of this, though, I’ve come to decide that this is what college is about: embracing the unknown.

The past three years of not knowing what I want have provided me the opportunity to explore a variety things.  In doing so, I’ve had the chance to narrow down what it is that I’m passionate about.  And while the switching or dropping majors at first seemed frightening to me, I’ve come to recognize this as maturing; as deciding what it is that really and truly makes me happy and then wholeheartedly pursuing it.  And, while I still don’t know what exactly that thing is, I feel the past three years have been influential in bringing me much closer to that discovery.

With this in mind, I eagerly look forward to this summer.  Maybe I’ll think that interning at a literary agency is the best thing in the world, maybe I won’t.  Regardless, the experience will help shape and grow me and lead me closer to finding my ultimate passion.

Who knows what NYC or senior year will bring.  What I do know is that I will continue working to embrace the unknown, all the while learning to enjoy the wonderful obscurity of an uncharted future.