A Reflection on My Collegiate Years

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Everyone says, “College is the best four years of your life.” I think college is what you make of it. I hope college isn’t the best four years of my life because I have big plans in my future, and how I spent all of my time at SMU wasn’t how I dreamed college would be. When reflecting on my collegiate years, I cannot help but feel thankful and disappointed. Two powerful emotions dramatically crashing against each other. 

The freshman year mentality is to meet and befriend everyone. I wish that I had never stopped thinking and acting like that. I look around on campus and see so many people that I don’t know, and that makes me feel so sad. There are so many people that I never met, never sat down on Dallas lawn and struck up a conversation with, never got to know, never shared memories with. Seas of students wear through their shoes down the same hallways that I pass them in day to day. I could blame it on my busy schedule. I could blame it on being in a bad relationship for years. I could blame it on awkwardness that I wanted to prevent. But now that I am a senior, reflecting on my collegiate years, I stand on campus and feel disappointed that I didn’t strike up conversations with more people and take the initiative to get to know more people and to know them more deeply.

This is the time in my life that I supposedly have the most freedom. Why didn’t I dye my hair blue or shave my head, or do more outrageous things (without alcohol), or just sing while I walked to class? Why didn’t I stay after class and continue riveting discussions with teachers and classmates? Why didn’t I major in Theatre or Film and perform like I had always done? How different my life would have been had I majored in Theatre or Film…

I am incredibly thankful for many experiences that I have had here at SMU. I am thankful for the few, loyal, phenomenal people that I have had the opportunity to share my collegiate years with. I am thankful for the people that were with me during the best days when we felt so alive in those moments and nothing else mattered because we were ignited and free. I am thankful for the people that were there with me during the most difficult times, the times when the world seemed to be crashing down and the darkness surrounding me. I am thankful for the people that have been with me through it all. I am thankful for the people that made me think, made me challenge my beliefs and question what I always blindly accepted. I am thankful for the people that will be in my life forever.

At least from now forward, I will value the relationships I have and always look to create new ones. Everyone is worth meeting.

Marissa Braun
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