From Homecomings to Boulevarding to English 1301 and PerunaNet–come May 2014, I, as well as many of my peers across the nation will be pushed out of our warm, safe cocoon that is college and thrown out into the cold cruel world that is true adulthood. Where we have to be grown up and work for a living and over these last four years I have had the greatest opportunity to learn so much about myself as a human being and gain some great friends and knowledge that will be with me on that journey. It’s been 1,425 days and counting since I began my journey at SMU and I am both excited and terrified for it to end, but man have I loved every step of the way.
Although being only 30 minutes away from my family my first year at SMU was filled with so much self-pity and wallowing. I was homesick and was trying to get my barrings at a new school when I had left being the top dog at my old one. I felt like I was surrounded by “friends” that I made very quickly but yet still felt alone and isolated. I joined a bunch of clubs and organizations to fill my time so I was never by myself but it wasn’t until my sophomore year that I would truly begin to blossom and find my place.
The Resident Assistant or RA, a.k.a. the “Fun Sucker,” the “Hall Monitor”, the “Paid Snitch” and so forth was my calling for the next two years at SMU. It was there that I truly became who I was meant to be. I became confident, more outgoing, and self aware of both my strengths and weakness. It was there that I met my two best friends and set goals for my life that I hope to achieve. I developed certain qualities that make me a great leader and friend, as well as accepted some of the flaws that are apart of me and sometimes hinder my progression–some of them being my idealistic mindset for everything, my tendency to procrastinate to extreme measures, my anxiety and ADHD. Being an RA taught me how to really love and care about people who don’t want to be cared for and how to let things go.
Over these years I have had to deal with much pain as well as joy. Since being at SMU, I have had three losses in my family, my mother has lost her job, my sister has been admitted to the hospital for diabetes, and my brother has been in a horrible car accident—all events that have been a large financial burden on me and my family. Every semester I face the possibility that I may not have enough money to comeback for the next one and one of my biggest challenges is the pressure I face to be a good daughter, a great sister, and a loyal friend. I put people before myself, always, and sometimes face the repercussions of spreading myself to thin to make others happy.
Now in my final year at SMU, my attitude towards life and myself has changed drastically. I am more carefree and try not to sweat the small things. I ask myself “will this matter in 1,2,5 years?” and tell myself not to worry based on my answer. I work long hours every week and remember to smile anyway. I want to enjoy my time with my friends and family as much as possible and have fun and create adventures before it becomes harder to do so.
SMU has taught me so much and I am truly going to miss being in a place that I have called home for so long. It’s been nice to find a family here when I found my self homesick my freshman year. I love SMU and hope to make it proud when I leave.
- 1,425 Days and Counting - December 7, 2013
- Microsoft’s Xbox One - November 23, 2013
- 1 in 3 - November 16, 2013
I love all your blog post jaimmy! Can’t believe we are almost done…
Loved reading your blog…we are almost done 🙁